Looking For A Light
(April, 2021)
I started writing and recording “Looking for a Light” before my whole life changed. I was living with my longtime girlfriend at 28 years old in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. I had a band with my twin brother and three other friends from college that had toured all over the country and the world , and had made enought money to have managers, a booking agent, an attorney and go to things like SXSW. I could feel how exhausted was from the rat race, or better yet the hamster wheel, but I didn’t know how to get off and the prospect of doing so was frankly terrifying. I started biting off little chunks of calm by writing these songs, a quiet place to go for myself amidst the hubub. I went up to Boston in three installments over the course of a year to record with my friend Mike Seigel, and track guitars, percussion, and vocals four songs at a time. In the span of that year I lost my relationship, my apartment, left the band and met and fell in love with Eliza, spurring my accidental move to California as the songs had started coming out. I slept on a lot of couches that year. I sat a lot of cats. I listened a lot, once I had gotten to the point of finding my own internal misery a little bit boring. I drove around the whole country by myself and realized for the first time that walking into a restaurant or bar by myself wasn’t so bad. I slept in my car and survived some pretty wicked storms on the road. I had some adventures and some flings. Some tough phone calls. A lot of Taco Bell bean and cheese burritos off of the old band’s “Feed the beat” gift cards.